thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it's like iHOP with fire
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
