You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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