if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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