theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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