nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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