we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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