he shaved USA in his pubs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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