Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
