hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
