it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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