listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
