just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am midnight drunk by noon
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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