Cold hands, warm shart.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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