All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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