Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
