there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
