I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I deserve this hangover.
Shame - the story of my life.
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