I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize