You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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