I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
