is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
