i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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