just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Mom said you looked used
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
