i just wanna soil my oats bro
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
