I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
