Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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