is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
