It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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