Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Randomize
