If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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