As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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