my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
