Ambien. No doubt about it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
