why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
