I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
