Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money

  (813): View more from Florida

  sounds like you understand them just fine

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  (901): I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money (813): sounds like you understand them just fine http://tfl.nu/0zfp
  Replies (10) Good night (1790) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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  (610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf
  Replies (34) Good night (2004) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.

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  (303): The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period. http://tfl.nu/nrl7
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Walk of Shame. In a state park.

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  (712): Walk of Shame. In a state park. http://tfl.nu/aczj
  Replies (8) Good night (3056) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
  Replies (34) Good night (10756) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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  (215): if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker http://tfl.nu/asrh
  Replies (31) Good night (760) Bad night (5001)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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  (717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl
  Replies (10) Good night (5081) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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  (408): He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0bv4
  Replies (54) Good night (7099) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.

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  (713): I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume. http://tfl.nu/yxor
  Replies (6) Good night (3211) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

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  (206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/wvly
  Replies (4) Good night (1743) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.

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  (812): You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard. http://tfl.nu/0j3h
  Replies (9) Good night (1476) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.

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  (484): He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now. http://tfl.nu/asj4
  Replies (8) Good night (947) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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  (201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.

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  (406): We turned a watering can into a margarita bong. http://tfl.nu/ptcq
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.

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  (908): I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird. http://tfl.nu/2urz
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (181)

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