just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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