I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.