We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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