Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

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  (410): it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed. http://tfl.nu/fe66
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (1506)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  her nose should be used as a dorsal fin

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  (404): her nose should be used as a dorsal fin http://tfl.nu/cjiq
  Replies (10) Good night (635) Bad night (3090)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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  (775): No, you can still breathe under the balls. http://tfl.nu/znk7
  Replies (3) Good night (2456) Bad night (802)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.

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  (630): just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in. http://tfl.nu/9xed
  Replies (43) Good night (1178) Bad night (8201)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

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  (334): you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that? http://tfl.nu/908j
  Replies (38) Good night (1516) Bad night (3424)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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  (404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t
  Replies (23) Good night (7337) Bad night (985)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.

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  (212): I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it. http://tfl.nu/1ysm
  Replies (22) Good night (7511) Bad night (879)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.

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  (856): part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty. http://tfl.nu/jt5n
  Replies (7) Good night (6124) Bad night (1342)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

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  (203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke
  Replies (15) Good night (7014) Bad night (1126)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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  (770): No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together http://tfl.nu/677k
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (1452)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.

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  (908): I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling. http://tfl.nu/t9ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1366) Bad night (471)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?

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  (262): I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!? http://tfl.nu/rfa8
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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  (334): Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks. http://tfl.nu/nhv4
  Replies (1) Good night (246) Bad night (659)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.

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  (908): I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE. http://tfl.nu/w76l
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (262)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.

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  (931): He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/egbd
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (144)

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