He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
