Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
