What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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