so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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