Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
