question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
why is half of my head shaved?
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