the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
foreskin is a definite game changer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You may now shotgun with the bride
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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