I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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