i just wanna soil my oats bro
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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