I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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