; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My brain says no but my pants say off.
and she was petting her beer can
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There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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