his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize