NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
