I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
