Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
