We won't sleep together?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
