Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
