I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
