I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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