Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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