I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
