: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
