you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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