I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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