Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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