Dual....:-)
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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