Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
