His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
