It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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