i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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