Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
