guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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