she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
