man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
