Moan for me like Helen Keller
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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