What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
