You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
