not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
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