Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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