handjob tips. give me some.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
